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Turns on: We all have sex fantasies. But, if you’re like me, some of your fantasies aren’t socially acceptable or easy to talk about. I once dated a guy who seemed pretty straight edge in bed. Our sex consisted of doggy style, missionary, and cowgirl, but I needed something more. I wanted him to choke me during sex. Auto-erotic by asphyxiation had always turned me on but I felt embarrassed bringing it up. I didn’t want him to think I was super weird or feel turned off. My sexual fantasies felt like a vulnerability, a deep dark secret I didn’t want to share with anyone. But once I was able to articulate to him exactly what I wanted, I felt more sexually empowered and our communication felt stronger than ever. It also turned out that he had always wanted to try it too. From the experience, I learned that our its willingness to share our bedroom desires and fantasies reveals our ability to be vulnerable, which is really a beautiful thing., turns off: We all have sex fantasies. But, if you’re like me, some of your fantasies aren’t socially acceptable or easy to talk about. I once dated a guy who seemed pretty straight edge in bed. Our sex consisted of doggy style, missionary, and cowgirl, but I needed something more. I wanted him to choke me during sex. Auto-erotic by asphyxiation had always turned me on but I felt embarrassed bringing it up. I didn’t want him to think I was super weird or feel turned off. My sexual fantasies felt like a vulnerability, a deep dark secret I didn’t want to share with anyone. But once I was able to articulate to him exactly what I wanted, I felt more sexually empowered and our communication felt stronger than ever. It also turned out that he had always wanted to try it too. From the experience, I learned that our its willingness to share our bedroom desires and fantasies reveals our ability to be vulnerable, which is really a beautiful thing.

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